it is understood that it will get broken.
There is no way around it.
I am still learning this.
I find that is is both an honor and a privilege to watch the end of life come to pass.
It isn’t easy nor can it be considered pleasant, but it is a part of life that not everyone gets to see.
The living years is what most of us look for, find pleasure in and hope to be a part of.
But to be present when a spirit leaves this world is nothing short of amazing.
The last breath.
The last heartbeat.
The last moment.
I cannot help but cry for it is, in it’s way, very sad … and yet, when there was suffering, it is also a comfort.
I try, in my weak way, to console the ones left behind, but at that particular moment, there really are no words to say.
I can only be there, in the background, in the edges of the moment, to hold a hand or wrap my arm around those who need the contact.
I’m not, by nature, a hugger or toucher.
It doesn’t really come naturally to me as it does to true nurturers … and yet, I find myself being pulled into the emotion.
It is difficult, but I cannot turn them away.
Not in their moment of need.
Maybe I am weak. But if I can offer some bit of strength in their moment of weakness, then my strength has been made manifest.
I can do, for this moment, what I have learned through experience to do. Not book experience, or clinical experience, but life experience.
I understand loss, especially unexpected loss that blindsides you and leaves you reeling from words left unsaid.
It is what it is and there are no do-overs.
It is enough to know that you loved someone while they lived in a way that they knew, unconditionally, that they were loved.
It is enough.
Move forward as you can, but whatever the cost, move forward.
To remain where you are, in grief and sorrow is the last thing in the world the one you lost would want.
Don”t be afraid to live.
If you aren’t afraid to live, then when your time comes, you won’t be afraid to die.
It is a circle.
Don’t break it.
